I ended up here on purpose. I fought hard to lose myself. Only it wasn't supposed lead me to this destination. There wasn't supposed to be pain, loss, heartache, grief, mourning, disappointment, failure, or dissatisfaction on this path. I was supposed to be finding myself. This journey was about self-discovery. Surely pursuing everything that pleases me should result in happiness. That's the meaning of life isn't it? Pursue your dreams, live life to the fullest, happiness cometh. Repeat. So why am I sitting here without fulfillment. Where is my piece of what this world has to offer? Instead of being on top of the world I'm buried beneath layers of guilt, shame, doubt, and confusion. I didn't find myself but I tell you what I did find: SIN. Sin of ALL kinds. Pride, lust, lies, gossip, selfishness, idolatry and those are just appetizers. My identity has to hold more than this.
AND IT DOES.
"For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. Colossians 3:3
EVERYTHING about who I am is connected to who HE is. Looking within myself as opposed to looking to Him are sure causes of destruction. My flesh has no answers. My heart has no answers. Every answer lies in Christ. The problem with my journey of self-discovery was that I forgot the most important person: Christ. Trying to discover myself apart from who I was created by and for was the first mistake. My identity as a women, daughter, sister, friend, and believer are all rooted in Christ. I had to stop running and get back to the one who could actually reveal me to me.
So how am I doing this? Getting back to basics. How can you do this? The same way.
Practical Steps to Self-Discovery:
2 Thessalonians 5:17 "pray without ceasing"
This seems impossible but it isn’t. Pray in all things. Pray about everything you can think of. Don’t settle for surface time with the Lord. This is deeper than just the fluff prayers. This is the war to be VULNERABLE and TRANSPARENT. Repent. Cry. State your confusion. State your pride. State your shortcomings. State your thankfulness. State your hopes. State your fears. There is nothing to be lost in prayer but there is joy, healing, identity, love, comfort, and so much more to be gained. God knows all things but we aren’t exempt from communication. Praying without ceasing to learn who you are is very possible when you stop saying rehearsed prayers you learned to the Lord and actually begin to share your heart for Him to sift through. Hiding your heart from God doesn’t grow you. It hinders you. It keeps you lost on who He is to you and who you are in Him. This is the God who created you and all things. He knows you and He loves you. He chose you. He sent His son to die for you. He knows your identity and He desires to share it with you.
2 Timothy 2:15 “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.”
If you can’t properly ingest the word of God you cannot properly apply it to your life as you learn who you are and whose you are. Everything about your identity must be filtered through the lens of God and His word. The good and the bad. Every emotion, experience, desire, gift, plan, and pursuit you can think of needs something to be founded upon. Found it upon the word of God and who He has designed you to be.
Psalm 19:7-8 “The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple; the precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes;”
Learning your identity in Christ requires a belief in His word and His law as PERFECT. You can’t view it as alright, optional, half true, or tainted. You must view it for what it is. Believe who He says He is, and allow that to propel you to believe in faith what He says to you about who you are to Him. The first two steps are vital to getting us to this step and we must fight to live in this step. Fight to live a life that shows you believe and trust God with yourself. Believe God shaped your identity and Has a plan for you that glorifies Him.
Romans 12:1-2 “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will”
Live for Christ. Live on mission. Live in sacrifice. The path to continuing to discover who you are is a life that is surrendered to Him.
Identity is a struggle that many of us will face through multiple seasons in life but there is grace and hope in Christ. I’m still learning and growing through this and I hope that you guys will join me in the fight to discover who you are in the Lord.
Grace peace and love
- JENEAN ELIZABETH