I Am Servant

I am always either running or standing still. Running from God and His people or standing still but not waiting on Him either. I know how to do church. I know how to work hard but have no servant heart. I know how to give relentlessly with no sacrifice. I know how to be in ministry and be in leadership without so much as an ounce of submission. Fooling people with false service is an art I have come to know well. I’m skilled at it. It’s easy. It gets the job done. It gets the people off your back. It gets you praise, accolades, and fleeting satisfaction. It doesn’t get the Lord out of my heart or the Holy Spirit off my case. God knows better. There are no actions, schemes, agendas, I can use to keep Him from being privy to the actual state of my affairs. He made me and He knows all of me. He sees the things I can hide from everyone else. He sees the masks and they don’t suffice.

Galatians 5:13-14 “For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.””

I am a servant. That’s what I was created to be. It is a command not an option. It is my service to the Lord. I have to fight to see this. I have to want to see this. My arrogance, pride, and self-preservation must be placed beneath this. My entitlement must be placed beneath this. My church hurt must be placed beneath this. My disappointments must be placed beneath this. The church is not perfect. People are not perfect. I am not perfect. I am however called to serve. I know this. I must accept it and live it out. There is nothing I can say or do that makes me exempt from being a servant to God and to others. I must love my neighbor as myself and this requires dying to myself. This requires devotion and commitment without excuse. God is not interested in my excuses. God is interested in me doing His will. I have the only reason I need to do so, He commanded me.

SO WHAT’S THE HOLD UP?

I must own and confess my lack of desire to serve people comes from the same sinful nature of not desiring to serve God. I don’t care about my relationship with people because I don’t cultivate my relationship with Him. I have poor communication with people because I have poor communication with Him. I can’t serve people with joy because I haven’t learned to find joy in serving Him. The more I learn about serving others the more I realize that when I don’t serve people properly they are not the problem. I AM THE PROBLEM. My inability to get off the throne of my heart and relinquish it to Christ is the problem. I can’t continue to separate service to Him from service to “them”. God is deeply invested in His design. He cares how I treat people just as much as He cares how I treat Him.

SO NOW WHAT?

Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ”

I repent. I commit. I serve. I fight every day to focus on the Lord. I pray for Him to renew my mind and remember that serving wasn’t a conditional command. It was a command to pursue service above myself. I must make service a priority and not an option. I must serve each person as though I were serving Jesus himself because I in fact am. My life has never been my own and that includes my relationships with every person the Lord sends in my path. He has identified me as His servant. These three things I remember and repeat to myself daily.

I AM…. Called to die. Called to serve. Called to Him.

Grace, Peace, and Love,

- Jenean Elizabeth